She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
