too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
