i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
