I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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