It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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