I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
