Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
