So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
