My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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