so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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