I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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