If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize