I'm pants shitting drunk right now
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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