Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
