Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way

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(203): View more from Connecticut

if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.

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(614): View more from Ohio

you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome

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(804): View more from Virginia

there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!

(1-804): View more from Virginia

Wait are they playing beer pong to?

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(937): View more from Ohio

Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.

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(630): View more from Illinois

she could've warned me his penis was curved

(708): View more from Illinois

ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.

(214): View more from Texas

What brownies? Ohmygod.

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