Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
