so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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