awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
