I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
