Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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