He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
