Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
