Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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