A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
