i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
