operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
