I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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