would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
