Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
