Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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