doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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