Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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