just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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