something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
