wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
