And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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