I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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