So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
