im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
