I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
