just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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