long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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