i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
