i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
