Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
