my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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