i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
