the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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