Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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