Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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